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http://www.funeralsinghana.com/images/duncan.gif This tribute is to the memory of my dearly beloved Mrs Elaine Duncan. In retrospection, I call to mind the special attachment she had with me.
Auntie Elaine knew from whence she came - a noble and well-respected lineage: she was a grand-daughter of the illustrious Sir James Buckle and a scion of the Palmer and Opintan families of Osu, Accra.
What was my Aunt like, Auntie Elaine (as she was called by most) was the epitome of an accomplished lady; always well comported and softly spoken, a paragon of excellence and diplomacy.
Etiquette was her forte; she was sublime with anything "English” – language, tradition or culture. She stood for civility and decorum – a family legacy; yet although she called a spade a spade, she would not call a fool a fool. Auntie Elaine had a perpetual youthfulness of heart and mind, and a ready wit. She always opted for simplicity. She was knowledgeable, giving all acquaintances her unequivocal support with a hands–on approach to problem solving.
My initial attachment with her was cupboard love, I can remember her bringing us presents whenever she visited Ghana in my childhood and I bonded better with her family during my family's annual visits to Lagos in the mid-70s, when the Duncans' lived at Palm Grove.
Prof. Duncan is also my maternal great uncle, and in our teens, occasionally, Tayo Johnson and I sometimes forgot that Alero and Erejuwa were our aunts, however their friends became our dancing partners at parties and I have kept up the acquaintance with a few of them.
My Aunt Elaine gave me words of encouragement when I found life hard at the sudden and unexpected death of my mother in 1990 and she had the task of breaking the news of my father's demise to me in 1998, where again she was wonderfully supportive. She was the pride and joy of her entire family. Her goodness outweighed any human deficiencies. Her greatest gifts being her kindness, loyalty to family, generosity, intellect, sense of humour - the ability to laugh at herself. She was a woman of unquestionable integrity; she would never compromise her principles for anything else, particularly Christian values, decorum and education. She always pursued justice to its logical conclusion; and she would always advise a relation or friend in trouble against pursuing a bad case. I named my eldest daughter after her.
Auntie Elaine always sought a consensus. Acquaintances found her easily approachable and amiable. She sought to instill these sterling qualities in her children, nieces and nephews. For these exemplary qualities many are those who will forever remember her. According to Thomas Fuller, “the happy thoughts of those we love will never pass away”. Auntie Elaine has now won an enviable place in the loving arms of Christ. She lived as a Christian and died as a Christian - I quote her last words to me, when I visited her at Timehin’s in Great Wymondley last year, "Vernon, I am bowing out, but I know where I am going so I am not afraid" Although Auntie Elaine had a good life, read extensively, wore the best Jaeger had in vogue and travelled the world over, she did taste the bitterness of being an invalid, yet she was always happy and believed that adversity was the school of experience, and that even the darkest clouds have a silver lining.
Shelley wrote of death “First our pleasures die - and then our hopes, and then our fears
-And when these are dead, the debt is due, dust claims dust - and we die too"
It is written in Romans 8:18 , “for I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us”.
Uncle Kofi, Alero, Erejuwa, Timehin, Tosan, let us take consolation from my favourite quotation from Tennyson “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
My dearest Auntie Elaine:
"The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you,
for the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory.
Your sun will never set again, And your moon wane no more;
The Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end. Isaiah 60
Fare thee well; my beloved, " you have fought the good fight, you have finished the race, you have kept the faith
Beloved, till we meet again, Rest in perfect peace.
Vernon
Kofi
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Comments
I just wanted to ask,is this the same Mrs Duncan who taught in Atlantic Hall Secondary School in Nigeria years back?
Please can you respond to lojei@yahoo.co.uk.
Thank you.
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